Daily Draw 4/29/16 - The Sun, The Hermit, and Justice

Today I felt like pulling a card for the day/weekend. I freshened up my altar yesterday and things are looking and feeling great! I ended up pulling The Sun, which is a card I have pulled on another Friday, and always is a welcome sight, especially in the spring! I wanted a little more detail, something to give me a little more focus and so I thought I'd draw a second card and hopefully get a pip or a court card for something more specific to focus on. Well, nope! I drew The Hermit, and looking further, I drew Justice. This deck just keeps walloping me with these huge cards! I figure this is something I'll probably be reflecting on throughout the weekend, but here are some first impressions on the cards...

I've already talked a lot about The Sun in a previous daily card draw, and I am still mainly connecting with those same energies of warmth, growth, vitality, and optimism. I feel like I'm doing a good job recently of continuing to walk this path towards a healthier lifestyle physical, mentally, and spiritually, which feels like it is all connected and gathered in the light of the sun. There is a social event coming up this weekend that I've been excited about for some time, but due to some personal stuff, there is an element of anxiety as well. I feel optimistic that everything is going to go well, and I think the Sun is reminding me to be open and trusting and have faith that things are going to work out. 

I haven't talked much about The Hermit or Justice on the blog yet. The Hermit is the birth card of my best friend, so I understand a little bit about it due to that.

The Hermit is concerned with isolation (not necessarily in a bad way), spiritual knowledge, self-reliance, and often includes a connection to nature in some way. I also think that there are elements of self-inquiry and soul-searching. The Hermit can represent the student and/or the teacher, and the lesson is notably a spiritual and deeply personal one. The lantern represents inner truth and knowledge. There is an interesting component of space and distance to The Hermit as well, with the implication being that The Hermit has departed from, turned away from, or left something behind in their quest to gain insight into life's deeper mysteries. I think that this card, like the Hierophant in some ways, asks us to take a moment to consider things that are of deeper and more lasting importance than trivial issues in our daily lives. I also like that, unlike the Hierophant, the Hermit is about us trusting ourselves, trusting our own guidance and our own authority and intuition in connecting with spiritual truths. Alternatively, it could indicate that if you are looking for a mentor or authority figure you may place more of an emphasis on those who value self-guided and intuitive learning over those who insist upon rote, traditional learning. 

For me, I think that this Hermit is actually pointing to those anxieties that I mentioned above. While I was thinking about a particular social gathering, I think that it can be applicable to a lot of the relationships that I have with my friends. Mainly my anxieties stem from a fear that my friends don't really like me, or that they are angry with me in some way. I think that this fear manifests in a tendency to isolate myself and to fear being ignored, rejected, or abandoned. I think that the Hermit is reminding me that it is okay to be solitary at times, but I think being seen here with the Sun it's a reminder that this is perhaps an ungrounded fear and that I should let the light, warmth, and optimism of the Sun reign.  

Justice is concerned with fairness, balance, morality, equality, cause and effect, and honesty. It is sometimes read from a literal standpoint of the law and legal matters. Justice is often associated with the swords suit.

What I think this is saying to me, as the natural extension of the Sun and Hermit cards as detailed above, is that if I trust in the energy of the Sun and trust that I've done the right thing, been fair and honest, then I have nothing to worry about, because I will reap what I sow. I went through some hard times recently with this particular group of friends, which includes my ex-boyfriend, and it was really difficult but in the end I think that we were all completely up-front about our feelings and honest with one another, and that we've all forgiven each other, and can now move past everything. I think old fears are still nagging me that people will be holding a grudge, but I think that the Hermit with the influence of the Sun is saying, let go of those fears, because you were honest and you did the right thing, and Justice is saying that we are all on the same page and things are fair and balanced. I also think the Hermit in regards to my social anxiety is letting me know that it's okay if I find myself alone now and again at a party or a gathering, and that it's not an indication of rejection or dislike. Overall thanks to the presence of the Sun, I'm feeling really relieved of my anxieties and optimistic about the weekend's fun!

Better late than never: Photos of my altar

I did create a lovely altar recently and I thought I'd share some photos. I feel like it's getting a little dusty and needs some refreshment, so I hope to work on that no later than next weekend. 

Mind/Body/Spirit

A little while ago, I decided to do a spread that I had only a very vague understanding of, the Mind/Body/Spread. I basically pulled one card for each aspect of my life and went from there. 

Since I didn't want to overwhelm myself with too broad of a topic, I decided to focus in on one aspect of my life right now, which is that I am currently in my last few weeks of grad school. However, given the results, and the thinking that I've been doing over the past week or so, I've started to interpret the cards as pertains to my life as a whole, which I think is appropriate. Even though I initially wanted to focus just on school, I think the cards really had a strong message for me and want me to consider it in light of my life as a whole right now. The fact is that I am at a crossroads at the moment, a huge time of transition, so ending school really does define my life in general at the moment.

For Mind, I pulled the Sun. For Body, I pulled the Hierophant, and for Spirit I pulled Judgment. Oh my gosh, right off the bat, three majors, and I know that this deck heard me loud and clear and has some real shit to communicate to me right now. (Spoiler alert: I've been meditating on this spread for weeks, and I have a feeling I will continue to do so for some time.) Here are some of my initial thoughts.

In my Deck Interview, I found that the deck's most important aspect was represented by the Knight of Staves. I interpreted this to mean that the deck "is not afraid to make things exciting and even a bit dangerous at times. This deck is not going to hold back. It's all about diving in head first, joining the fray, in pursuit of finding the truth, in pursuit of a noble goal. This deck won't pull its punches. But its motivation is always going to be to seek the truth. This deck will be honest and passionate and will expect me to be honest with myself and to put in the passion and the creativity to get the most out of it." I think that, in light of this, what this spread is asking me is to be completely honest with myself and to take this seriously. There is an urgency and potency to this reading which I think is the deck telling me to pay attention because this is important. This matters. This is bigger than just school. This is bigger than the next month or two. Since I am ending school, and hopefully getting a new job and moving soon, a lot of things are about to change in my life, hopefully for the better. The ways in which I meet these changes will set the stage for the years to come. Now is the time to make changes in my life which will set me on the path of having a better relationship with myself. The Knight of Wands is bearing an urgent, truthful message. 

So far I have had a tricky time getting into the messages of the Sun and Judgment, and I've mainly been focused on the Hierophant. I had a negative reaction to/resistance to the Heirophant initially, sort of like I did with the Emperor, but stronger. I think that this means that this is the sort of energy I actively NEED in my life. Sort of like how they say that your least favorite yoga pose is the one you need the most/when you are uncomfortable in the pose is when the real pose begins. I need to actively face and embrace things that make me uncomfortable and challenge me. Only in this way will I grow.
Now, I have A LOT of other thoughts and feelings about the Hierophant being the "Body" card. For some reason it's difficult for me to put into them all into words, but I'm going to try in list format:

1. The Hierophant urges us to look deeper - look at the bigger picture, the deeper meaning. I think this means that I need to look more closely at how I relate to my body, to my image. I have a tendency to write off trying to be pretty as shallow or unimportant. But is "body" really about looks? Is it really about weight? No, I need to look at things more holistically. Body is about my health, my strength, and how I feel in and relate to my body. I think that the Hierophant is asking me to make that connection between my body and my mind, between my body and my spirit. Because it is a huge part of me. 
2. There's something about tradition here - I'm trying to chase down ideas in this vein.
3. There's something here to do with the fact that the other two majors I got are far more advanced in the Fool's journey - I think this indicates that I am neglecting this part of myself and it's an area where I need to put in more work. I need to find balance, I need to focus on this more.
4. I have previously thought of my relationship with my body only in regards to the way that society views women's bodies and also in terms of my own feelings of fat hatred and shame regarding my body. I am always focused on looks. But there's a lot to unpack here
1. Looks can be important, and it's okay to be interested in the way you look and in cultivating your own look and image - this is something I should take pride in and allow this to be an expression of my self and my creativity
2. Body isn't just about looks this is about my health. It's about getting enough sleep. It's about stretching. It's about being strong. And I think I will see the ways in which taking care of my body affects my mind and self very deeply. And not only accepting and taking care of my body, but getting to a point of enjoying it.
3. I need to completely overhaul the way I think about exercise and diet - the way I think that I should interact with and think about my body. This requires a huge sea change. 

At this point I don't think it's an overstatement to say that tarot has changed my life. For the better. This is precisely the tool I needed to communicate with myself, to open up truths within myself and to be honest with myself. I'm going to keep unpacking the aspects of this reading for months to come, I think, and I will post updates as my thoughts become more organized.

Ten of Wands

A little while ago, about a week ago, I drew the Ten of Staves as a daily card. It stayed on top of my deck until recently because it was just such a powerful and important card for me at that time. 

For starters, the Ten of Wands - as, I image is the case with most "ten" cards - is another card in the deck that heralds the end of a cycle, a time of being near completion, having come to close to achieving one's goal. It can me that you are shouldering a heavy burden or responsibility, but that you are in the home stretch.

Another way of looking at the card is an indication that you are maybe taking on more than you can handle. You can't say "no" to more responsibilities (be they stressful and/or fun), and you are burning out. You are you trying to do too much or you are not doing what you need to to support yourself in order to be successful. I see a figure who is exhausted and overwhelmed, and maybe who needs to just take a fucking rest for a minute before picking up all those burdens again and moving towards the destination once more.

I call this "the self-care card." That is, at least, exactly what my first impression was upon reading the LWB which came with the Tarot Mucha. When I pulled this card on April 19th, I had that same immediate read on what the card was telling me. Not only have I been really busy with school, work, internship, the community garden, and more, but I've also been undermining myself with too much beer and not enough sleep. I was coping with my stress by having a few too many beers on the weeknights, staying up late reading or listening to podcasts or knitting, because that was what was keeping me sane. But it definitely wasn't healthy.

After meditating on what this card is telling me, I've done a good job recently of cutting back on the booze and getting more sleep. This is something with which I will continue to struggle, but I think of the Ten of Wands as a card which reminds me that I can't be effective if I never rest, and that if I want to reach goals that I set for myself in my life, I need to be healthy. 

A Deck Interview with the Tarot Mucha

As always, this delightful Deck Interview spread comes from Beth at Little Red Tarot! Enjoy the stream of consciousness analysis... and sentence fragments.... AND the shitty iPhone photos. =D

Questions:

1. Tell me about yourself: what is your most important characteristic? Knight of Staves (Wands)

The Knight of Wands is passionate, active, reckless, and driven. This deck is not afraid to make things exciting and even a bit dangerous at times. This deck is not going to hold back. It's all about diving in head first, joining the fray, in pursuit of finding the truth, in pursuit of a noble goal. This deck won't pull its punches. But its motivation is always going to be to seek the truth. This deck will be honest and passionate and will expect me to be honest with myself and to put in the passion and the creativity to get the most out of it.

2. What are your strengths as a deck? King of Cups

The King of Cups is joyful and exuberant. He is compassionate and open-hearted. He brings harmony, love, and acceptance. He urges us to set out on a spiritual path, promising support in the form of solid emotional and spiritual guiding energies. This deck will have strong feelings about things. This deck will be very much concerned with the emotional and spiritual aspects of what it is telling me, perhaps it will not be very literal or concerned with practical aspects. It is worth pointing out that there are NO pentacles showing up anywhere in this Deck Interview Spread, which could support that theory.

3. What are you limitations as a deck? Five of Swords

Tension, conflict, and disagreement. The cards may not always play nice with one another. Maybe the deck will seem like sometimes it doesn't know what it is trying to say. The cards may fight one another. It's my job to find the compromise. And, looking ahead to the Ace of Cups and back to the King of Cups, it means I need to follow my intuition and inner guidance to find the harmony among the cards. It won't work to try to force them into submission with logic and spreadsheets (at least not only those things). 

4. What are you here to teach me? Eight of Swords

I have more control and power and agency in my life than I realize. Maybe it's telling me to be grateful for what I have in my life, and realize that I have everything I need. If I believe in myself, I can easily cast off the bonds that are holding me back and give myself more freedom. I don't deserve to feel shitty, basically. Nothing will ever come from giving up or giving in to depression. If I am honest with myself and willing to tap into my intuition, creativity, and passion, I can better my circumstances and come to a heightened place of confidence and contentment. 

5. How can I best learn from and collaborate with you? Ace of Cups

Have an open heart, don't hold back, trust your instincts, your intuition. Come with a full heart and be emotionally invested, be willing to be vulnerable. 

6. What is the potential outcome of our working relationship? The Hanged Man

Astounding realizations, enlightenment and understanding. For me, I think this means understanding myself. But also, attaining a higher level of spiritual fulfillment and satisfaction. I will be able to gain a completely new perspective on life, one that leads to greater happiness. 

Further Thoughts

I'm interested by the fact that not only did I get two Cups cards, but I got the Ace and the King, representing one completed cycle. I think it goes to the idea that the supportive, intuitive, and emotional energies of the King as the strength of the deck, and the Ace as the way in which I can best work with the deck, will be what help me with the more challenging aspects like the Knight of Staves and all that Swords energy. I also think of the fact that there are cycles within cycles, and also that when we reach the completion of the journey, we begin anew. I think it means that I will always find something new to learn in this deck.

Two Court (The King and the Knight) cards gives this deck a lot of potency and power. Those swords are troublesome for me. Maybe this indicates I've been putting too much stock in rationality/logic and need to embrace my intuition and creativity. I love the Hanged Man because that is exactly what I am seeking: a deeper understanding of my spiritual and emotional self. I think another aspect is saying that this deck will give me back what I put in. It's asking me to put in cups energy, and it will help me grow in that area. Similarly, I'm being called to tap into strong passionate energies and be willing to be uncertain and take risks sometimes by the action of the Knight of Staves. I really relate to the idea that the Knight of Staves is single-minded and even possibly reckless and ruthless in his pursuit of his goal, but in addition to this he is 100% loyal and honest. I think this deck will ask me to face difficult truths and will require me to be completely honest with myself in order to get the most out of the relationship.

Daily Draw 4/15/16 - The Sun

Happy Friday! Today I shuffled my deck, thought about my day and upcoming weekend, and I drew:

The Sun!

The sun represents warmth, light, health, vigor, and vitality. The sun is also associated with wholeness, completion, success, and attainment. Other elements are confidence, strength, self-love and acceptance, happiness, joy and optimism. So, that's some pretty great energy to be taking into the weekend! I have a very busy weekend ahead of me and I think the Sun is reminding me to approach things with a light and open heart, and find the joy in each moment. 

I'm still very much connecting to the energy of the Star, and it's interesting to me to think of the ways that the Sun and Star interact. In some ways, the Sun outshines the Star, which I think is just a gentle nudge to not get too lost within my own internal musings and reflections. I think the Sun is urging me to be a little more expansive, spread the love and the joy around a little more. I know my boyfriend is going to have a stressful and busy weekend, and I haven't spoken to my parents and my best friend in a little while, so it's a good weekend to reach out and connect with and support the people that I love in my life. Earlier, I described the Star as showing me a light at the end of the tunnel. I think that the Sun is a hint that soon, life is going to deliver on that promise.

It's also very appropriate for this time of year, as we are having a very sunny spring weekend coming up. Things are still a little chilly, but more warmth is promised soon. The Sun is connected to energy and growth, and I think I'll heed the somewhat literal call of the Sun this weekend by maybe going for a run and doing some work in the garden. Those sunflowers attest to the fact that the sun isn't just about spiritual enlightenment and lofty goals, but also about our connection to the earth and the importance of getting our hands dirty. There is no "earth" card in the tarot, so I think that the Sun is the card that brings my attention back to nature more than any other. Getting outside, enjoying the earth waking up around us, and really connecting with the world brings a joy, contentment, and connection with ourselves as much as meditation or inner analysis does. 

Daily Draw 4/14/16 - Nine of Staves

Happy Thursday! I thought we might be in for a little bit of a change after all that cups energy! Today I drew the Nine of Wands, which are called Staves in the Tarot Mucha. 

I don't recall much about this card from my initial look through the LWB. I know that Wands/Staves represent the element of fire, and that the suit generally indicates passion, action, and creativity. Before looking up the meaning of the card, I'd like to just take a moment to reflect on the image. 

I'm really loving the borders of the minor suits, each of which has its own theme. The staves have an almost autumnal look. To be honest, I'm having a hard time interpreting the image. I suppose my only feeling is that of being well-supported, she is confident in her ideas and her resources. Maybe she's not quite ready to take action yet, but she's marshaling her forces. Those are just my first impressions.

Taking a look at my notes, this card can mean that one is dealing with a heavy burden or a difficulty. I wrote down "shouldering a heavy burden in the late stages of a journey," and "a position of strength; have faith in your preparations; have faith for the final push." 

With this mind, I take another look at the card and notice that she does seem a bit fatigued, and like she has indeed come a long way. But the feeling of having prepared yourself well and feeling confident that you can deal the final blow is coming through strongly. It's sort of like hitting the wall in the last few miles of a marathon, right? You've trained for this, you are capable, now it's time to put one big final effort in and finish strong. It's a pause to collect oneself and steel oneself for the final push; you're in the homestretch, don't falter now. But I really like the idea of this card representing that deep breath and pause before taking that final step.

Well, this makes a lot of sense for me right now, as I am coming into the final month of grad school. I suppose this card is a good reminder that I can't just muddle through the last few weeks - I will get a greater reward if I push hard to finish strong and make the most of these final miles. I am right in the thick of this at the moment, as I am putting in hours at my internship every single day after work, completing coursework, and looking for jobs. 

I'm also thinking about the action of moving from all of that cups energy into wands/staves energy. I've been doing a lot of introspection and personal reflection... now it's time to tap into my willpower and strength and resolve to get some shit done in my life! I'm feeling bolstered by and energized by that time of reflection, though. Having that cups background is helping me dig deep and find the motivation for that final push.

With this in mind, I'm off to work on some job applications!