The Emperor and The Fool

Well, a few days ago, I finally broke down and ordered my first deck, the Tarot Mucha! I also ordered the book Holistic Tarot which I’m excited to read. I should get both next week sometime. I chose to get a deck that follows the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith format to learn on, and in the future I’m open to trying out different decks that are a little less traditional. I can’t wait to get my cards!

Originally I had planned to wait until the end of May to order a deck and really jump in, because I’m pretty busy right now finishing up school and my internship and working everyday on job applications. I didn’t feel like the time was right or that I had enough time, and in a weird way I felt like I would be rewarding myself for finishing school. That’s a nice thought, and I’ll probably still treat myself to some sort of graduation present, but I just couldn’t wait.

I have been listening to the Archetypal Tarot podcasts and they are doing a great job of introducing me to aspects of each of the cards of the Major Arcana. I just finished the episode on the Hierophant. I've also been reading a lot of other Tarot blogs, such as Down Home Tarot, Little Red Tarot, Two Sides Tarot, and Rabbit Moon Tarot. So far, this has given me a good jump start on understanding the meanings of the cards, and I'm also starting to get a feel for how to intuitively react to and interpret the images and energies that the cards present.

Already, I’ve learned a lot about myself and I haven’t even held a deck of cards yet. Coming to understand the hero’s journey or cycle that is represented by the Major Arcana and understanding that The Fool is the one undertaking this journey, has already given me insight. I used a cute little method from Beth at Little Red Tarot on how to find your “birth card.” It’s a numerology technique where you find your “life path number” and then whichever number card of the Major Arcana corresponds to that number, that is your birth card.

You calculate your life path number by adding up the digits in your birth date. My birthday is August 8, 1986. So I add 8+8+1+9+8+6=40. Then, you want to get the number down to a single digit, so you would do this, in this case, by adding 4+0=4. My life path number is 4, which means that my birth card is The Emperor.

Instantly, I felt disappointment. The Emperor? Really? It just didn’t resonate with me. Couldn’t I be something cool like the High Priestess or the Hermit or something? I feel much more drawn to the Empress card than the Emperor. I didn’t think about it much more and as the day moved on I sort of forgot about it. On the way to my internship I was contemplating listening to some more Archetypal Tarot podcasts, but I was hesitant because I had set up a process where I would write down notes and impressions on the card as I listened to the episode. I even have a spreadsheet. And I was reluctant to break this rule, to step outside of this structure. And it just hit me. I am the fucking Emperor. Rigidity. Structure. Organization. Following the rules. Protective. Trustworthy. A leader. Rational. I feel like all of these positive traits of the Emperor really speak to a part of me. Unfortunately, so do many of the shadow aspects: impatient, demanding, unforgiving, harsh, cold, bottling up emotions, harmfully competitive, stubborn. These are things that do plague me in various situations, and I would do well to remember that is the tyrannical Emperor in me! There are other great qualities of the Emperor that I don’t feel I currently possess, but I think it gives me insight into what my natural strengths might be if I gave them the energy to help them flourish. Things like confidence. Being disciplined, focused, and motivated. I struggle with this a lot. Having faith in myself and having pride in myself instead of dealing with a feeling of guilt, or of never being good enough. Having the Emperor as my birth card feels like a reminder that I have the potential to embrace more of these positive qualities if I put in the work and have faith in myself.

In any event, it only took a few hours and I realized just how perfectly the Emperor describes me. Another interesting aspect was the feeling that I had when I felt like I would have preferred the Empress card. Of course I would have, because I believe the Emperor and Empress really complement and balance one another. To me this indicates that I have a yearning for and a lack of the Empress energy in my life and it’s something I should seek out and cultivate in myself. Just think how unstoppable I would be if I tapped into the energies and positive forces of the Emperor while increasing the self-love and support and joy and bounty and freedom that is the Empress!

So. Yes, I am the Emperor with my rules and my organized spreadsheets. But, let’s get a little of that Empress sense of play and spontaneity into my life. It’s OKAY to up and order those cards right now. I’m passionate! I want to jump into this endeavor head first, damn the risks! Oh! Who do I sound like now?

Yep, The Fool!! And I think I am The Fool on this journey. This is my journey into tarot. What better way to start things than as The Fool? Energetic, optimistic, free-wheeling, sunshiny, trusting fool! Can’t wait to continue exploring. And I absolutely LOVE the Tarot Mucha version of this card:

Something in me right now is saying, maybe hold off on the card meanings and the podcasts research for a few days. Immerse myself in what I’m feeling about the process, get excited. I am so so eager to do all this research and learn everything by the book and memorize the meanings and have everything linear and organized for better memory retention (Emperor)! But I think I need to allow a little bit of relaxed energy, creativity, and play into this process (Empress) to get the most out of it. So I think over the next few days I’m going to just wander around the online community, do a little writing and reflect on the cards I’ve already studied, and then go through my deck as soon as it arrives. I’ll do an entry with my initial impressions of the cards, which will be interesting for the ones I haven’t technically researched yet.

Thanks for reading!