Mind/Body/Spirit

A little while ago, I decided to do a spread that I had only a very vague understanding of, the Mind/Body/Spread. I basically pulled one card for each aspect of my life and went from there. 

Since I didn't want to overwhelm myself with too broad of a topic, I decided to focus in on one aspect of my life right now, which is that I am currently in my last few weeks of grad school. However, given the results, and the thinking that I've been doing over the past week or so, I've started to interpret the cards as pertains to my life as a whole, which I think is appropriate. Even though I initially wanted to focus just on school, I think the cards really had a strong message for me and want me to consider it in light of my life as a whole right now. The fact is that I am at a crossroads at the moment, a huge time of transition, so ending school really does define my life in general at the moment.

For Mind, I pulled the Sun. For Body, I pulled the Hierophant, and for Spirit I pulled Judgment. Oh my gosh, right off the bat, three majors, and I know that this deck heard me loud and clear and has some real shit to communicate to me right now. (Spoiler alert: I've been meditating on this spread for weeks, and I have a feeling I will continue to do so for some time.) Here are some of my initial thoughts.

In my Deck Interview, I found that the deck's most important aspect was represented by the Knight of Staves. I interpreted this to mean that the deck "is not afraid to make things exciting and even a bit dangerous at times. This deck is not going to hold back. It's all about diving in head first, joining the fray, in pursuit of finding the truth, in pursuit of a noble goal. This deck won't pull its punches. But its motivation is always going to be to seek the truth. This deck will be honest and passionate and will expect me to be honest with myself and to put in the passion and the creativity to get the most out of it." I think that, in light of this, what this spread is asking me is to be completely honest with myself and to take this seriously. There is an urgency and potency to this reading which I think is the deck telling me to pay attention because this is important. This matters. This is bigger than just school. This is bigger than the next month or two. Since I am ending school, and hopefully getting a new job and moving soon, a lot of things are about to change in my life, hopefully for the better. The ways in which I meet these changes will set the stage for the years to come. Now is the time to make changes in my life which will set me on the path of having a better relationship with myself. The Knight of Wands is bearing an urgent, truthful message. 

So far I have had a tricky time getting into the messages of the Sun and Judgment, and I've mainly been focused on the Hierophant. I had a negative reaction to/resistance to the Heirophant initially, sort of like I did with the Emperor, but stronger. I think that this means that this is the sort of energy I actively NEED in my life. Sort of like how they say that your least favorite yoga pose is the one you need the most/when you are uncomfortable in the pose is when the real pose begins. I need to actively face and embrace things that make me uncomfortable and challenge me. Only in this way will I grow.
Now, I have A LOT of other thoughts and feelings about the Hierophant being the "Body" card. For some reason it's difficult for me to put into them all into words, but I'm going to try in list format:

1. The Hierophant urges us to look deeper - look at the bigger picture, the deeper meaning. I think this means that I need to look more closely at how I relate to my body, to my image. I have a tendency to write off trying to be pretty as shallow or unimportant. But is "body" really about looks? Is it really about weight? No, I need to look at things more holistically. Body is about my health, my strength, and how I feel in and relate to my body. I think that the Hierophant is asking me to make that connection between my body and my mind, between my body and my spirit. Because it is a huge part of me. 
2. There's something about tradition here - I'm trying to chase down ideas in this vein.
3. There's something here to do with the fact that the other two majors I got are far more advanced in the Fool's journey - I think this indicates that I am neglecting this part of myself and it's an area where I need to put in more work. I need to find balance, I need to focus on this more.
4. I have previously thought of my relationship with my body only in regards to the way that society views women's bodies and also in terms of my own feelings of fat hatred and shame regarding my body. I am always focused on looks. But there's a lot to unpack here
1. Looks can be important, and it's okay to be interested in the way you look and in cultivating your own look and image - this is something I should take pride in and allow this to be an expression of my self and my creativity
2. Body isn't just about looks this is about my health. It's about getting enough sleep. It's about stretching. It's about being strong. And I think I will see the ways in which taking care of my body affects my mind and self very deeply. And not only accepting and taking care of my body, but getting to a point of enjoying it.
3. I need to completely overhaul the way I think about exercise and diet - the way I think that I should interact with and think about my body. This requires a huge sea change. 

At this point I don't think it's an overstatement to say that tarot has changed my life. For the better. This is precisely the tool I needed to communicate with myself, to open up truths within myself and to be honest with myself. I'm going to keep unpacking the aspects of this reading for months to come, I think, and I will post updates as my thoughts become more organized.